Oh god, it's that July again. Perhaps a mere coincidence, it's this time of the year, I really go down tumbling to bed for whatever reasons. Last year, I was hit by a wave of high fever and I was reduced to bed for nearly two weeks. Out of T.V, out of internet and, more importantly, out of happenings, really made me go nuts.
Surprisingly, during this July, I was again put to bed (This time it's not a natural calamity but a man made mistake :-)) as I, myself, opted for an eye surgery. I was asked to stay away from the T.V and the internet and of course, was advised to close my eyes as much as possible and SLEEP(one of my favorite activities). However, I felt that this is the most cruel punishment ever. Asking a person to sleep too much is just a mental torture. Believe me! You may reckon and even be surprised, but you would know how hard it is to lay on bed with eyes closed when you really want to come out into the world.
The caption of a popular beverage, " The world is waiting, where are you" struck my mind, though nothing is really waiting for me. I get all sorts of emotionally weak thoughts and fears and I succumb to them to death during this ugly idle period. Perhaps, the old adage, "Idle man's mind is a devil's workshop" , holds good here. Though I feel great and on top of the world with " I'm single and I'm loving it" attitude, at this point of time, I feel lonely and feel that there isn't really anyone who would really care for me "genuinely" and "unconditionally".
I wanted to test it practically, taking some real-time data to find out that is there anyone really concerned about me. So, I picked up my mobile and perused through the received numbers list. To my surprise, over 70% of the calls were from my credit card sales buddies, who are really concerned about my investments, credits, savings, loans, health insurance(wow they are concerned about my family too). With a pun intended, they are the true friends.
Ironically, we generally tend to take people, who really care about, for granted and ignore them while we long and beg for someone else to care for. Typically, I tend to ignore those bank calls by saying "I am busy" or "not interested". It's Harsh. Isn't it? As I write this, a practical joke flashed in my mind all of a sudden. It was during my engineering, a period during which cell phones were new and talking to a girl over the phone for us was an eight wonder. One of my class mates was known to possess posh northie gals' numbers. Knowing this, another guy bribed him, begged him and somehow managed to get a number. With hell a lot of excitement he went home to call her up and the next day told that she was saying the same thing again and again and that he was pissed off. We were bewildered. The real joke is here, the other guy had given him the hutch customer care number and the voice is a pre-recorded female speech. Poor fellow he didn't even know that such a service ever existed.
Back from the joke, the other calls were from my clients. Are you wondering who these clients are? These are people who find me on orkut or some pagalguy forums and even people I know at TCS ,or at my college etc. They generally call me to seek help on GMAT, Management programmes, U.K MBA etc. (Lately, I have become one big consultant and about to start a consultancy too (just joking)). They quite politely and sweetly start with this "Hi, Prashant. How are you?". All they would expect is a very mundane "I am fine.How about you?". There is no real intent in knowing how you really are. In fact, they would be taken aback and become speechless if I say anything other than that mundane reply. Because they are not expecting it and they are not prepared for it.
I had such strange experience when I was interviewed by Dr. Chris Storey, Director of the full time MBA at CASS business school. I typically started off with "Hi Chris. How are you doing?". He replied "Hi Prashant. I am not doing well, had head ache all morning as I screened many applications and my kid is not well too." Wow, what a surprise that was. I never expected that answer. However, I somehow managed to get through. Perhaps, it was intentional from Chris to test my ability to manage during uncertainty.
Alright back again, so overall, after this swot analysis, there is only one caller, who unconditionally, affectionately, truly and genuinely called me day and again. Who else it can be. It is my mom. That's why they say, as god cannot be everywhere to take care of everyone, and thus, he created mother, my world. Apart from mom, there is nobody really. Yes of course people do call me, scrap me and mail me, however, they do it when they need something and my name flashes in their minds once they are in need of some information, or some monetary help or whatever. I find a lot of females falling into this category. Previously, I felt good that at least I am remembered in need. However, deep down it has been gripping me when I learned that I am confined to this mere role and none is really taking me to the next level of the relationship-A friend (here friend is defined a bit tightly, it is not just a person who you know).
You might question me "Prashant, do you care for others? If so, they would do surely reciprocate". I have an answer for this too. As I know, the importance of this, I regularly go through my contacts list, browse through it and call people alphabetically, just to know their well being and whereabouts. I may not be really interested but the fact that my show of concern can lift the other guy's spirits is what I look out for. I do the same on orkut as well. I just want to make sure that there is no mistake from my end.
So I asked myself. Am I missing something in life? The answer is unarguably "Yes" to me. I really wonder how so much is said about, written about friendship. The poems, the songs, the quotes and the stories. It must have existed surely, but where? I haven't experienced it yet. Mind you, all this while I am talking about friendship but not love. I am miles away from it and it out of my sight and reach and I threw it long ago out of my basket.
P.S: I wrote the above blog with ideas that flew around my mind when I was physically and mentally inactive. So, please don't take it seriously huh, as this is some crap :-)
7/21/08
Parting with a long time companion
Writing this article is making me feel seriously nostalgic. As time passes by, lot change, people depart and, of course, memories fade. This long time confidant has been with me, through my thick and thin, successes and failures (I guess I had lot many failures) and for a staggering 17 years. Day-in and day-out, I just couldn't do away with.
We shared the bed, whether it's exams or movies, long drives or sports, I was with. My best moments on T.V and on my p.c were shared. In sum, I looked at this beautiful world only through its eyes. So now guess who? This dude is none other than my glasses.
I still remember that day, when I was in my 4th class, I cringed back when I saw my classmate wearing glasses. Then, the very next day, I was incumbent with the task of wearing glasses for the rest of my life. What misery. I hated them to the core, I found them not as a fascination but as an obstruction, and the additional overhead of maintenance gripped me. For heavens sake, I didn't want to look like a nerd.
I shunned them from day one and to entice me, my parents put in extreme efforts. The next few paras are entirely dedicated to the efforts that my parents had put in. For nominal eye check-ups, I was taken to Madras (now Chennai) all the way from Kakinada and I was thoroughly checked by one of the best ophthalmologists in the country. My first pair of glasses were bought in Lawrence and Mayo, Chennai (I haven't had a clue of the brand then) and they were over 2000 bucks. (Mind you I was talking about a period that was 17 years ago). They bought another pair of specs that was opthalmic coated, which would reflect a blue light. This specs are my all time favorite and my friends used to love them and play with them
It took only a few months to destroy one specs and the other was a story. During my lunch-break, we all used to play in the play ground and I used to put my glasses inside my pockets. However, one fine day, I wore a sweater and I put them inside it. After the break we rushed to our class rooms and in the process, I dropped them somewhere in the vast play ground. As, I reached my class room, to my utter disgust, I found them lost somewhere. Then, my friends were disappointed and they searched the entire ground, as I gave up thinking about my new specs and some days off without study.
Nearly after four months, one of my friends found those specs in the ground, specs that weathered the sun and the storm. The frame was faded though the glass was great. And, I used them again.
That was the beginning of my huge collection of glasses. I tried photo-sun, carbon frame, half-frame, gold frame, oval, square, plastic ones, metal ones, what not, expensive brands, cheaper brands, a number that is uncountable and unthinkable, my specs arsenal grew and grew. I chewed the legs, bent the rims, threw them off, stepped on them, dropped them hundreds of times, slept with them and slept on them. But, I couldn't do away with them.
After some time, I tried my luck with the contacts during my intermediate. With cylindrical power, contacts didn't fit the bill. I felt irritated, scared and abhorred those lens and switched back to my dear glasses. Innumerable times, I used to repent while searching for them when they are badly needed after I threw them somewhere in disgust. Half the time I spent each day searching for them. They used to creep in, somehow, underneath me while I was asleep and to my horror, I used to wake up with a broken frame or popped out glass or a bent rim.
If this is one side of the problem, the other is a bit more social and even emotional. As I grew, I limited the usage of my glasses to reading, watching T.V and working on my comp. I restricted them to my pockets. I moved around without a clear vision and saw the world through a mist. In the process, I missed out on recognizing people a bit far off and more importantly, their smiles at me. I felt that I was missing something seriously.
Now at 25, I felt that it's the time to bade a happy goodbye to my buddy. I got my sight corrected with a laser eye surgery known as LASIK. I felt sorry for my mate, but cannot help, I finally got rid of them and I feel proud that I am looking at this beautiful world with my own eyes and will never let those smiles at me go in vain.
We shared the bed, whether it's exams or movies, long drives or sports, I was with. My best moments on T.V and on my p.c were shared. In sum, I looked at this beautiful world only through its eyes. So now guess who? This dude is none other than my glasses.
I still remember that day, when I was in my 4th class, I cringed back when I saw my classmate wearing glasses. Then, the very next day, I was incumbent with the task of wearing glasses for the rest of my life. What misery. I hated them to the core, I found them not as a fascination but as an obstruction, and the additional overhead of maintenance gripped me. For heavens sake, I didn't want to look like a nerd.
I shunned them from day one and to entice me, my parents put in extreme efforts. The next few paras are entirely dedicated to the efforts that my parents had put in. For nominal eye check-ups, I was taken to Madras (now Chennai) all the way from Kakinada and I was thoroughly checked by one of the best ophthalmologists in the country. My first pair of glasses were bought in Lawrence and Mayo, Chennai (I haven't had a clue of the brand then) and they were over 2000 bucks. (Mind you I was talking about a period that was 17 years ago). They bought another pair of specs that was opthalmic coated, which would reflect a blue light. This specs are my all time favorite and my friends used to love them and play with them
It took only a few months to destroy one specs and the other was a story. During my lunch-break, we all used to play in the play ground and I used to put my glasses inside my pockets. However, one fine day, I wore a sweater and I put them inside it. After the break we rushed to our class rooms and in the process, I dropped them somewhere in the vast play ground. As, I reached my class room, to my utter disgust, I found them lost somewhere. Then, my friends were disappointed and they searched the entire ground, as I gave up thinking about my new specs and some days off without study.
Nearly after four months, one of my friends found those specs in the ground, specs that weathered the sun and the storm. The frame was faded though the glass was great. And, I used them again.
That was the beginning of my huge collection of glasses. I tried photo-sun, carbon frame, half-frame, gold frame, oval, square, plastic ones, metal ones, what not, expensive brands, cheaper brands, a number that is uncountable and unthinkable, my specs arsenal grew and grew. I chewed the legs, bent the rims, threw them off, stepped on them, dropped them hundreds of times, slept with them and slept on them. But, I couldn't do away with them.
After some time, I tried my luck with the contacts during my intermediate. With cylindrical power, contacts didn't fit the bill. I felt irritated, scared and abhorred those lens and switched back to my dear glasses. Innumerable times, I used to repent while searching for them when they are badly needed after I threw them somewhere in disgust. Half the time I spent each day searching for them. They used to creep in, somehow, underneath me while I was asleep and to my horror, I used to wake up with a broken frame or popped out glass or a bent rim.
If this is one side of the problem, the other is a bit more social and even emotional. As I grew, I limited the usage of my glasses to reading, watching T.V and working on my comp. I restricted them to my pockets. I moved around without a clear vision and saw the world through a mist. In the process, I missed out on recognizing people a bit far off and more importantly, their smiles at me. I felt that I was missing something seriously.
Now at 25, I felt that it's the time to bade a happy goodbye to my buddy. I got my sight corrected with a laser eye surgery known as LASIK. I felt sorry for my mate, but cannot help, I finally got rid of them and I feel proud that I am looking at this beautiful world with my own eyes and will never let those smiles at me go in vain.
7/9/08
All Hail The New Champion
All of a sudden it flashed in my mind. How come I still didn't write on this arguably the best Wimbledon final in the history of Tennis? So, I am now poised to explode with my heart stopping emotions, views and reviews on Wimbledon final 08. Before jumping into detail, I desperately want to state my stance i.e " I want to see somebody (damn anybody) beating Federer".
All Fedex fans out there, you must be wondering why? This instinct has been deeply rooted for a reason. I cannot take anything against my all time Tennis hero, Pete 'The Great' Sampras. I still remember the game, where that Swiss teen defeated and dethroned the Champion, as somber Pete Sampras lingered at his changeover chair, engulfed by cheers that weren't for him. I just couldn't take that sight. I had cursed Federer then and it continued. Had that match not happened, I would have been a huge fan of Federer. However, unfortunately it happened and the rest is history.
With my knees down and arms together I admit that Federer is one of the most, if not the most, talented players I have seen. He is a classic and he is poetry in motion. A great human on and off the court. In terms of quality, I tip him over Sampras even. However, unfortunately, Mr. Roger, I didn't happen and I don't support you.
So, what next? I was looking for someone all these years to be my role model, a favorite to cheer for and most importantly, a man who would dethrone the Emperor. There were quite a few pretenders who passed by, the Roddicks, the Safins, the Djokovics and even the Tsongas. But, Fedex was matchless. His quality is way beyond their reach. However, after nearly 5 years of reign, there emerged a warrior, the Spanish Armada, Rafael Nadal. I was following him for quite sometime now. I was convinced that this lad has quality, consistency and prowess, but was still unsure whether he is the answer for Federer.
Forget about clay, Nadal is unsurmountable. Fedex's only chance to win the French is when Nadal gets injured. But, I am looking at the grass. The 7 titles that my Pete holds are at threat. I want someone to stop Roger's run. Last year's final was a cracker. So close but yet so far. But, Nadal showed this world what is he made of. And, that final gave me hope. I knew that the days of Fedex's reign were numbered.
Federer looked out of touch this year following his loss to Djokovic and ofcourse the truly one-sided Ronald Garos Final. However, when it comes to Wimbledon, his den, he is a different player who is untouchable. He has that destructive weapon, the Serve. I keep saying, if you have the serve, you are almost there. That's the reason why Ivanisevic went on the win the title though he is a mediocre game player.
I watched some of the matches of this year Wimbledon. I found new players coming in, some showed glimpses of quality, some tight matches but none really a threat to Federer. However, I watched Nadal's games and found that he is just as sublime as Federer. So, there is only one man in Federer's way now. I want them to meet. I looked at the draw at the Nadal's end. For a moment, I analyzed the players in Nadal's way. A bit worried that would any of these players pose a serious challenge. However, I felt that it is silly to worry. If Nadal struggles against anyone, then he cannot beat Federer and of course, doesn't deserve to beat him.
Both reached final with great form under their belt. Both of them were poised and determined. The 'dream' final is on. Where the number one takes on number two (mind you, I dint state who is number one and number two). There was a Asian Cup final at the same time. India taking on Srilanka. Heck, who cares about that?
I just finished off my pending jobs to get ready for the final. I was bit late though. When I switched on my TV, Nadal already broke Fedex serve in the first set. I felt happy and continued watching. Nadal took the first set without much resistance. Then, I thought, "Do I see a Federer fight back now?". I knew that he wouldn't give away easily. As I thought it happened. Federer broke Nadal early in the second. Game on. However, amazingly this lad came back strong and clinched the second too. With two sets down, I thought it will be a mountain to climb for Federer. Moreover, he wasn't in this situation before. I doubted how Federer would respond to this. Now, I was relaxed and went out for dinner as there was a short rain break.
In the third, things have changed, both played equally well, matching game to game, point to point, stroke to stroke. An array of winners that you don't often see. If one comes up with an amazing point, the other answers it with another fabulous one. Third set, thus eventually ended up in the tie-breaker. It was 50-50. Federer was serving well and took the early lead. I knew this set would go to Federer. And, it did. Now, I felt Nadal should wrap it up in the fourth else Fedex would grow in confidence and he would be unstoppable if it goes to the decider.
Nadal started well. So did Federer. It was his vicious serve that was coming in handy. Nadal looked vulnerable at times with his weak serve. However, his game is a touch more in quality that Fedex's and thus he survived. In open play, the chances of winning the point for both players were 67-33 to Nadal. Nadal threatened to break Roger's serve. However, time and again Fedex came up with a moment of magic and survived. Similar to the third, the fourth too went to a tie-breaker. I felt that this should be the decider. Nadal, if he were to win the title, he should do it now, in the fourth. If it goes to the fifth, Federer will be unsurmountable.
Nadal took the lead. Fingers crossed. Now, this tie-breaker holds a special place in the history books. To me, two of the greatest points in the history of the Wimbledon final are played. One a stunner forehand pass from Nadal. At this moment, I felt, one got to produce such moments to beat Roger and so, he would win. Finally, Nadal got the championship point on his own serve. Both players under huge pressure. God alone knows what emotions must be going on within them. Nadal severed in and approached the net. Then, the maestro, delivers a backhand pass winner that a Champion alone can, and Roger alone can. It was sheer audacity on the Championship point. He had to go for the winner. And the Champion gets the winner. Fourth set Federer. The momentum certainly swung Fedex's way. I felt, it would be a repeat of last year's final.
Federer game can be summarized by some moments of magic and some moments of madness. He can alone produce both the extremities in his pursuit to finish the point quickly. In contrast, Nadal is more consistent, has more perseverance and makes very few unforced errors. Mind you, I am only talking relatively, comparing two players with outstanding quality. The Tennis played so far is just different quality and no other player or match would even come a mile closer. I felt that the center court was in a different planet all together.
Fedex has a mighty advantage serving first in the fifth set. Thank god, no more tie-breakers. Two sets all, two game all and deuce. What a time for a rain break. I switched off my desktop and opened my laptop and connected the cable hoping for a change of fortune. The game restarted after the rain break. It's getting late. Already 4 hours of Tennis excluding the rain delays. Each player tried hard to hold on and they did. Some amazing points played. It was at 7-7 Finally Nadal broke Fedex's serve. And, he should serve out for the match, the Championship. Through those tense moments and amidst quality Nadal finally defeated the defending Champion and fell to the ground in disbelief, conquering the throne.
A sight that I haven't seen before, a refreshing sign to the world of Tennis, it heralded the emergence of a new Hero, and the beginning of a rivalry on grass. Nadal climbed on to the box and was greeted by this family. He even walked on the commentary box's roof to meet the Prince and Princess of Spain. When he lifted the trophy it was darkness and the photographers shot pics using flash lights. All in all, I felt that I have witnessed one of the best. if not the best, Wimbledon final. A match that was matchless and a match that had a two deserved winners, who are so different in style, physique, game and demeanor but yet two great champions.
P.S: India lost the Asia cup final, which was played parallel to this game, to Srilanka again. Looked silly to give away wickets cheaply to a youngster. But, heck, who cares? :-)
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